Standards

How to Rock Your School Dance

Your guide to feeling your best before, during, and after the big night

As you read, ask yourself: What emotions do you feel before a big social situation like a school dance?

Everyone is talking about it—the school dance this Saturday. On the bus, people are comparing pictures of their outfits. During lunch, your friends are discussing their plans for before and after the dance. At soccer practice, your teammates are whispering about dancing with their crushes.

You’re excited for Saturday too—but you might also be a little stressed out. How can you make sure the evening goes smoothly? Here some tips for having fun, staying safe, and feeling good at your next school dance.

BEFORE THE DANCE

Get plenty of rest, and fuel up.

It’s important to get a good night’s sleep—at least eight hours—and eat healthy food before a big event like a dance. That way, your body will have the energy it needs to jump up and down to the beat of your favorite song. And your brain will be ready to process everything happening at the dance and help you regulate your emotions.

“Sleep is absolutely critical to the brain,” explains Lisa M. Elliott, a neuropsychologist who works with teens. “So is quality food, particularly protein and healthy fats.”

These nutrients provide sustained energy, because your body breaks them down slowly. Elliott suggests nuts, avocados, beef jerky, or cheese as solid choices for your predance snack. The food available at the dance is likely to be high in simple carbohydrates or sugar. Your body breaks those nutrients down quickly, so while they might give you a short burst of energy, they often leave you feeling tired.

Find your style.

Picking out what to wear to the dance is part of the fun—but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. There are a lot of choices, and you might feel peer pressure to dress a certain way. But Elliott suggests that you focus on wearing something that makes you feel like you. “First and foremost, pick out clothes you feel comfortable in,” she explains.

Think about it: If you wear something just to impress other people, you might spend the whole night stressing about what other people think of your outfit rather than feeling confident and having fun. As you’re trying on clothes for the dance, try to tune out the opinions of other people. Don’t ask yourself, “What will my friends think of this?” or “How will this look in a picture?” Instead, ask, “How do I feel wearing this?”

To save money on your dance look, consider asking friends or family members if they have any fun outfits you could borrow. You can also check out thrift stores, which sell used clothing at a discount. You might find something special that nobody else will be wearing. Always make sure that what you wear fits your school’s dance dress code. And use the “Getting Ready Checklist” to make sure you look and smell great in your outfit.

AT THE DANCE

Cut off comparisons.

Making comparisons comes naturally to humans. It helps us understand the world. But there’s an old saying: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This can be especially true at events like dances, where comparisons can get in the way of being in the moment and having fun.

Jasmine Ghannadpour, a psychologist who works with teens, has advice for how to deal with this. “If you’re having the thought ‘My friend looks so much prettier than me,’ try to change the thought to ‘My friend looks pretty . . . period,’” she says. “We can recognize that someone looks nice, but when we start to compare their looks with ours, that’s when it takes away from the joy of our experience.”

Help someone else.

There’s a lot going on at a school dance, and it can be easy to focus only on yourself. But it’s a good idea to keep an eye out for people who are having a hard time. See someone who looks a little sad in the bathroom? Ask if they need help. See someone sitting by themselves? Invite them to talk with you and your friends—or to join your dance circle!

Research shows that when you do things for others, you feel good too. So reaching out to someone not only helps that person—it also helps you. Talk about a win-win!

You can always say no.

Remember: You never need to do something at a dance that makes you uncomfortable. If somebody invites you to dance and you don’t want to, just say ‘No thanks.’ Also, if you ask someone to dance or do anything else and they say no, it’s very important to respect their boundaries.

AFTER THE DANCE

Make safe decisions.

Do not use drugs or alcohol before, during, or after a dance. First of all, it’s illegal. It’s also not good for your body and can lead to other poor decisions. And never get in a car if you think the driver may be under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

If you are hanging out after a dance, make a postdance plan with friends you trust before the big night. That will help you avoid unexpected unsafe situations. Let a parent or other trusted adult know where you are, and call that person to pick you up if you are feeling uncomfortable for any reason.

Do some reflecting.

When you get home from the dance, you may have a lot of thoughts and emotions racing through your head. Reflecting on these feelings can benefit your mental health. “When we have a hard experience, we may want to avoid talking about it or push it away in our heads as if it didn’t happen,” says Ghannadpour, “but stress stays with us unless we process it.” Processing good feelings is helpful too. Research shows focusing on positive experiences can increase gratitude and resilience, leading to a more optimistic outlook.

Reflection can take many forms. You could talk to a trusted friend, family member, or teacher. Or you could write in a journal, make a collage, or even write a song about your school dance experiences.

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