The Truth About Peer Pressure

It’s natural to want to fit in—but real confidence comes from knowing when to step away from the crowd.

As you read, ask yourself: Why are teens especially vulnerable to peer pressure?

Raise your hand if you’ve ever shown up to school wearing the same sneakers as your friends. Now think about your usual lunch table. Are there things that connect everyone—like a favorite slang word, a trendy hairstyle, or a snack you’re all obsessed with? 

Psychologists call this behavior “herd mentality.” Herd mentality is your natural instinct to follow the crowd. It’s why peer pressure is so powerful. It can be very hard to not do something that all your friends are doing. 

When it comes to trends like being obsessed with the same slang or snacks, succumbing to peer pressure is usually pretty harmless. 

But when bigger decisions are at stake, especially those that involve your health or safety, peer pressure can be a lot more dangerous. 

According to research published by the National Institutes of Health, teens are more likely to take serious risks when they’re part of a group. That’s why even cautious and levelheaded teens can get caught up in extremely dangerous behaviors like drinking and driving. 

The tricky thing about peer pressure is you may not even know you’re experiencing it. “You’ve been conditioned to think of peer pressure as taunting, like ‘Do it!’ or ‘You’re a loser if you don’t’,” says Oscar Bukstein. He’s a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. “But the most dangerous kind of peer pressure is the influence you don’t even notice.” 

Fortunately, once you learn to recognize peer pressure in its many forms, you’ll have an easier time resisting it. When you do, you might be surprised by how rewarding it feels to say no to things that aren’t right for you. You might even inspire others to stand up for themselves. Here’s more about how other teens cope. 

A BIG DROP

Jonathan Tang, a ninth-grader, learned how powerful peer pressure can be during a trip to an amusement park with friends. “I wasn’t sure about riding roller coasters,” Jonathan says. “But after everyone else decided to go, I just went along.”

“After everyone else decided to go, I just went along.” —Jonathan Tang

At first, everything was fine. But then the group rode the Drop Tower, a ride that plummets 225 feet straight down. The ride was as terrifying as it sounds. “I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like there was pressure on my chest,” Jonathan remembers.

So why in the world would Jonathan line up for another turn on the ride? Two words: primal instincts. These instincts date back to prehistoric times, when early humans faced many threats to their survival on a daily basis.

Back then, separating from the group could mean facing a saber-toothed tiger alone. Humans figured out that they had a greater chance of staying alive if they stuck together in groups. Today the “predator” might just be FOMO—but the primal instinct to stay with the pack is just as strong.

85% of teens say they have experienced peer pressure.

Source: National Institutes of Health

Teen brains are especially susceptible to herd mentality, explains psychologist Laurence Steinberg. That’s because different parts of our brains develop at different rates. When you’re a teen, the part of your brain that controls decision-making is still maturing, while the part linked to social activity is fully active. That means it’s easy to see the rewards of belonging to the group and fitting in. But it’s harder to recognize any risks associated with following the herd.

SUBTLE PRESSURE

Sometimes herd mentality can create pressure to do something in the moment, like with Jonathan and the scary ride at the amusement park. But you also likely experience a more constant, more subtle pressure to fit in with your peers every day.

You can feel this kind of peer pressure just by looking around. “In eighth grade, everyone was wearing Lululemon Align tank tops. I wanted one so badly, even though they were pretty pricey,” says 11th-grader Coco. 

Social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat can amplify this effect. “They create the impression that the ‘herd’ is massive,” says Steinberg. “That makes joining the crowd even more compelling.” For example, once you see a few content creators wearing the same item of clothing, it’s easy to think everyone else is wearing the item too.

Coco was thrilled to get one of the coveted tanks for her birthday. She wore it a few times, but soon it was out of style, and now the pricey top just sits in her closet. But she’s learned from the experience and says she isn’t so fast to jump on fashion trends now.

AN IMPORTANT TEST

While a regrettable clothing choice isn’t the end of the world, group pressure can steer you toward riskier behavior, like drinking at a party or shoplifting with a group of your friends. 

That brings us to an important self-test. If you’re feeling an urge to copy the crowd in a potentially dangerous situation, pause for five seconds. Run to the bathroom or step outside and get some air, and get in touch with your instincts. Ask yourself: Would I still want to do this if no one else was doing it? Am I OK with the potential consequences if things go wrong?

Even better, plan ahead before you’re in a tough situation. For example, if you’re going to a party and know that there will be alcohol, be sure to have a go-to response ready in case someone offers you some. You could say something like “I don’t like the taste”, or simply, “no thanks.” Most of the time, people won’t care if you say no—and you might even help others step back too.

That’s what happened to Jonathan when his friend group started lining up for round two of the Drop Tower. This time, Jonathan spoke up. “I said I wasn’t going,” he says. “After that, a few others said they didn’t want to either.” Turns out, sometimes choosing not to follow the herd inspires others to find their own path as well.

Reflection prompt: Why do you think social media makes it harder to resist following the herd? Explain your reasoning.

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