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Shutterstock.com (Background); Uwe Umstatter/imageBROKER RF/Getty Images (Left Teen); Daisy-Daisy/Alamy Stock Photo (Right Teen)

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How to Bounce Back

You can learn, grow, and even come out stronger after rejection. Here’s how.

May/June 2026
By Meg Richardson

Sometimes, the word “no” is more than just an answer to a question. Hearing it can mean you’ve been turned down, excluded, or otherwise rejected. Every person you know has probably felt the sting of rejection at some point in their life—your parents, your teacher, your friends, the coolest kid in the grade above you. It’s a universal human experience, and sometimes, it really hurts.

But, believe it or not, there are some upsides to getting rejected. For one thing, when you try something and fail, that means you are pushing yourself and being brave. “Anytime you get rejected, it’s evidence that you did something that was hard or scary,” explains Amy Morin. She’s a psychotherapist and the author of the book 13 Things Strong Kids Do, which is about training your brain to help you deal with challenging situations. “Celebrate that you had the courage to try,” she says.

Being rejected can also present an opportunity for you to learn and do better the next time you give something a shot. “I definitely think that rejection can be a good thing,” says Alexa Beres, a ninth-grader. “People grow a lot from their mistakes, and mistakes can teach valuable lessons.”

But just because there are positive sides to rejection doesn’t mean it’s not painful. That’s why we’ve collected advice from experts who study the psychology of rejection—and from teens like you. We hope the strategies help you process your feelings about rejection and move forward with confidence.

Cut From the Team

THE REJECTION: You try out for a new soccer team. You think the tryout went pretty well, but when the coach posts the names of who made the squad . . . yours isn’t there. You’re disappointed and mad at yourself.

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Just because you were rejected once doesn’t mean you’ll never succeed. It just means you need to understand how you can improve, and try again. “Rejection encourages you to reflect on the experience, and from there, you can identify any areas for improvement,” says ninth-grader Iris Liao. “It can help you grow.”

While you work through a rejection, it’s important to practice self-compassion, says Morin. Her advice is this: “Ask yourself, ‘What would I say to my friend right now?’ If my friend didn’t make the team, I wouldn’t say, ‘You’re terrible and you should never try again.’ I would probably say, ‘Maybe you’ll make it next year if you practice.’ If we give ourselves those same kind words, it goes a long way toward helping our brains recover so that we can try again.”

Once time has passed and you feel a little calmer, try talking to the coach. Ask if you could try out again next season, and if so, what skills you should practice before then. You could also ask if there are other teams in your area that might be a better fit for you. “Focus on what you learned, and see if you can develop a plan to do better next time,” Morin says.

THE WAY FORWARD: Practice self-compassion, process your feelings, then try again.

Not Invited

THE REJECTION: You learn that your friend invited a bunch of people over for a party but not you. You feel rejected and hurt.

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Sometimes friends are exclusionary on purpose, but other times, people make mistakes. Your friend may not have meant to leave you out. They might have thought you wouldn’t want to come, or they may have forgotten to invite you. You won’t know until you talk to them about it. The next time you see them, try speaking to them with what are called “I statements.” For example, say “I felt ___” or “I am curious ___.” This is a communication technique that helps you express your feelings and experiences without blaming others. Barbara Greenberg, a clinical psychologist who works with teens, explains: “You can express disappointment in a way that’s not accusatory, then pause so your friend can respond.”

If, after talking, you realize that there was a misunderstanding, do your best to forgive your friend and move forward in the friendship. If you feel like your friend really did mean to reject you, or if this type of thing keeps happening, it may be time to distance yourself from this friend. Try not to take the rejection too personally. There may be something going on in your friend’s life that’s causing this behavior. It might have nothing to do with you. “Remember, you’re still the same person that you were before the rejection,” Greenberg says.”

THE WAY FORWARD: Calmly express your emotions, clarify what happened, then evaluate the friendship.

Missed the Mark

THE REJECTION: You apply to your dream school. You pour your heart and soul into the application. Months later, you hear back from the school and . . . you didn’t get in.

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It hurts to get rejected from something you were excited about. There is no getting around those feelings. In fact, they are something to lean into, says Morin. “Name your feelings,” she suggests. “Whether you feel embarrassed, sad, or angry, take a minute and see if you can put a name to how you feel. Research shows that when you name a feeling, it helps your brain and body make sense of what’s going on. Then you automatically start to feel that emotion a little bit less.”

A 10th-grader from California remembers a time when she was processing emotions about a rejection. “I biked to a nearby nature trail,” she says. “I basically sat with the little ducks in a pond and cried. I think that being alone, finding a way to let your emotions out, and connecting with nature are all good strategies to process and recover from rejection.”

Once you have let yourself feel your feelings about a rejection, remember that more opportunities will come your way. Start imagining new dreams that go beyond just getting into that one specific school.

THE WAY FORWARD: Feel your feelings, then focus on other possibilities for your future.

Broken Up

THE REJECTION: You’ve been dating someone you really like for a few months. But then they tell you that they want to break up. You are devastated.

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Getting rejected by a romantic partner can feel truly heartbreaking. It’s perfectly understandable to be sad, but don’t let the rejection make you feel like there is something wrong with you.

“Remember that someone else’s opinion doesn’t define your worth,” Morin says. “It doesn’t say anything about your character. It might just be a matter of their personal preference, and that’s OK.”

After a breakup, you might be tempted to check your ex’s social media accounts constantly, replay conversations with your ex in your head, or ask your friends about what your ex is doing. But those aren’t healthy ways to deal with your feelings. “Try to limit the energy you put into thinking about the breakup,” says Greenberg. Remember all the other parts of your life that have nothing to do with the relationship. Focus on connecting with family and friends who can help you remember how loved you are. Find a new hobby that helps you feel inspired. It’s important to remember that there is so much more going on in your life and in the world.

THE WAY FORWARD: Remember your worth and redirect your energy.

Reflection Prompt

How could using the strategies discussed in the article affect your mental health after the experience of being rejected?

Rejection: Part of Any Success Story

Often the people who become successful are the ones who didn’t give up the first time they heard “No.” Here are four rejection stories that might surprise you. 

Johnnie Izquierdo/Getty Images

Lionel Messi’s teachers said he was too short to play soccer at school. Now he’s a star soccer player. His low center of gravity helps him stay balanced and agile on the field.

Gilbert Flores/Penske Media via Getty Images

EJAE trained to be a K-pop star for years, but she was cut from her program. She started writing songs instead. Eventually, she wrote music for KPop Demon Hunters.

Roberto Ricciuti/Getty Images

Jason Reynolds was rejected by multiple schools and almost quit writing. Inspiration from hip-hop and Black authors helped him find his writing style. Now he’s a famous author.

Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

Oprah Winfrey was fired from a news anchor job for being “too emotional.” She became a successful talk show host by using her emotions to connect with people.

Keep a Victory Vault

Getting rejected can shake your confidence. When this happens, Morin recommends looking at a “victory vault”—a list of all the cool things you’ve accomplished. “Keep track of all the things you’ve done that you’re proud of,” she explains. “It’ll be a reminder that you’re capable and confident when you doubt yourself.” Try it!

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