A Survival Guide to Dating

Your lunch table used to be simple. You and your friends would complain about the cold pizza and discuss the latest season of Stranger Things. But suddenly, everything changed. Everyone seems obsessed with who’s in a relationship, a situationship, and a no-waytionship. You’re feeling overwhelmed by all of it.

It makes sense that you feel that way! Dating, or “seeing someone,” or “hanging out,” or “talking,” or whatever you call it, is a big deal. As you or your friends start to date, it can be exciting and fun. It can also be emotional and confusing. You might feel like you’re just not ready for the drama, and that’s totally fine. Whatever your status, you likely have concerns. Read on for answers to your questions about the good, the bad, and the awkward parts of dating. 

“We hang out and text. I think we’re dating, but I’m not sure. It’s making me nervous. What should I do?” —Avery

Dating can mean different things to different people. The important thing is that both people in a relationship feel comfortable. Even if you or the person you’re involved with doesn’t want to label your relationship, it’s important to communicate. You might say, “I feel like we’re dating. I’d like that to be true. How do you feel?” Or, if you feel differently, you could say, “I enjoy hanging out with you, but I want you to know I’m not looking to date right now.” Either option is fine, as long as you’re honest about your feelings.

“A classmate said they want to date me, but I don’t feel the same way. How do I tell them without hurting their feelings?” —Amir

Be honest and clear, but don’t be mean. Try saying something like, “Thanks so much for asking, but I’d rather just be friends.” If someone keeps asking you out after you’ve said no and you’re feeling uncomfortable, ask a trusted adult for help. You should never feel pressured to date someone.

“A lot of my friends are starting to date, but I don’t want to yet. Is that normal?” —Ben

It’s totally normal! Rom-coms, social media, and gossip at school might make it seem like everyone is having relationships, but that’s not true. According to a Pew Research Center study, only 35 percent of teens have dated. A lot of people don’t date until their 20s. Dating should be a personal decision, not something you do because other people are doing it.

“I started dating someone I really like. How should I tell my parents?” —Elena

It’s understandable to be nervous about telling your parents you’re dating. But believe it or not, they were teenagers once too! Seriously, your parents want to know what’s going on in your life, and that includes your relationships. If it feels awkward, it might help to break the news while doing something else, like washing dishes together or walking the dog. If you’re comfortable, invite the person you’re dating to hang out with your family so your parents can meet them.