My Life With a Stutter

Have you ever had an experience where you know exactly what you want to say, but you stumble over your words or freeze up when you try to speak? If you don’t have a stutter, this probably doesn’t happen that often. But if you have a stutter, like I do, it can happen every time you open your mouth. 

My name is Olivia, and I’ve spoken with a stutter since I was 6 years old. Nearly 70 million people in the world speak with a stutter, but they don’t all sound like me. In fact, there are a lot of different types of stutters. For example, I sometimes pause for a long time between words, or repeat letters. Other people who stutter can have trouble starting words, or prolong a sound within a word.

When I was younger I felt like everyone was judging me because of the way I spoke. But over time, I’ve learned to embrace my stutter, in part because of an amazing group that taught me how to perform in front of audiences without worrying about what I sound like. 

Now I feel like my stutter is part of who I am, and I know what I have to say is just as important as what anyone else has to say. Read on to learn what life with a stutter is like—and what I want kids with any type 

I didn’t always speak with a stutter. I’ve seen videos of myself when I was really little, and I was speaking and reading out loud fluently. The first time I was aware that I sounded different from other people was in first grade, when I was taking turns reading out loud with a partner. When it was my turn to read, my teacher asked, “Why are you talking like that?” and the whole class laughed. 

After my teacher said that, I started feeling self-conscious about speaking in front of others. All the things people without stutters take for granted, like trying to order in a restaurant, or asking a store clerk where something is, or meeting new people, or talking or doing presentations in class, can be very challenging for people with speech impediments. Sometimes it’s a struggle to even say my name.  

Then, in 2019, my mom learned about an organization called the Stuttering Association for the Young (SAY). At first I thought they were going to try to “cure” my stutter, so I was skeptical. But once I started doing activities with SAY, I realized no one was trying to cure me, because they didn’t think there was anything wrong with me. It was the first time I felt like people were willing to listen to me. 

Through SAY, I’ve performed onstage for more than 60 people. For my first performance, I told a story about a time in math class when I knew the right answer but was afraid to say it. I was super nervous to be talking in front of that many people, but everyone was very supportive.  

Last summer I went to a sleepaway camp with SAY for kids who have speech impediments. 

I felt completely safe there. Hearing other kids’ stories made me feel open about sharing my own experiences. I still keep in touch with the girls from my bunk on a group chat. 

Today, I’m not shy about telling people I have a stutter. I still have challenges with speaking—Zoom school during the pandemic could be tricky—but I feel so much more confident. My family has learned a lot too, like not trying to finish my sentences or order for me in restaurants. Now they know my stutter is part of my identity, and they embrace it.

When I grow up, I think I’d like to be a psychiatrist, because I want to hear other people’s stories. I think I could give them some good advice on how to be confident without changing who they are, the way I’ve learned to be confident about speaking with a stutter.